FINALLY! Back to Blogging! In order to move forward, there’s
about 9 months of ground I need to go back and address. This post
encapsulates the primary reason why I didn’t blog on Damn Yankees! Or since… It
was just too painful. Sounds dramatic I know, but really, until I could
approach the absurd things that happened on that tour with a sense of humor, I
didn’t think it was worth writing about. I refuse to have a ‘sad girl’ blog.
So here we go. The mother load. The unspoken. The tour
wrap-up.
10 Realities I wasn’t prepared for when I signed my
contract:
10. Tour clean
Laundry
is hard to come by and expensive. Clothes can’t always be actually clean, but
tour clean isn’t so bad. All it takes is leaving an item you may have worn 5 times
on the bus already in your suitcase for a few days. Once everyone has forgotten
you wear it all the time, or think its possible you may have washed it, your
item is tour clean, and ready to be worn again.
9. Road rebel misrepresented this hotel
There
is a terrible site that claims to know everything about every hotel. It lies.
This is the moment where a bus announcement is made with the headline above and
you realize that your hotel with a gym, laundry, and indoor pool is actually an
Econolodge with broken heat and no walkable dinning options.
8. Hoarders- Bus ‘n’ Truck Edition
Do
I need this? Is it instant oatmeal, a granola bar, an orange, coffee creamer,
or chips? What I mean is, is it free? Then yes. Absolutely YES. No one knows
when you might get your next meal.
7. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…if you get to Vegas
Not
every night off in Vegas was what we planned, because not every night off in
Vegas happened (more to come on that later). Frivolity was still found though.
My roommate and I enjoyed Cirque du Soleil’s “O” which was truly incredible. I
also ate every dessert option at the Belagio buffet, a feat that was also
incredible. One night I decided to do a dream ballet on the NewYork NewYork
bridge and flung my frozen margarita halfway to the MGM on a fouette. That was, unfortunately, credible.
6. We live here now
This
catchphrase (originating in Sarasota, FL) was initially my attempt to claim a
beautiful hotel that we only had for one night as a permanent home. It was
appropriated later during a long bus ride as we realized as we looked around
the bus, “We live HERE now”. It may now be used for lovely or devastating
locations.
5. Bus dreams
Bus
dreams are always weird. Adults aren’t supposed to take morning naps on the
floors of moving vehicles, so bus dreams are always weird. Two favorites: the
day my bus buddy was eating right near me and I dreamt I was given my very own
bus where the seats looked like hamburgers and I ate customized pop tarts and
the day I woke up licking my hand because I had dreamt I was eating caramels
that got stuck to my tongue. Fortunately all those around me were asleep and
didn’t witness that one.
I
was blessed with an INCREDIBLE roommate who approached life with the same
attitude as I do, “Yes, lets!” Not just an acting game anymore. We made fun
wherever we went, including throwing tubes of cookie dough at each other,
playing “Helen Keller and Annie Sullivan” in the wings, and thrift shopping for
ball gowns. I love this girl because when I say, “Wanna try on this plus-sized
negligee with me?” She says, “Yes.” And when I clarify, “No, I mean, with me.”
She replies, “Duh.”
3. My special day
Code
for: I have the cast stomach flu. Puke in a bucket or on the bus or at the
hotel, but with no swings- you’re doing the show kid.
2. The melt-down
After
a scheduling debacle and 2 months of suppressing frustrations, I cried, nay,
sobbed for an hour and a half one day on the bus. Once the floodgates were
opened, everything worsened me, even a video of cute cats. They were just so
cute! I had to cry more!
The
days of which we do not speak were days on the itinerary that had a 12 hr drive
straight to a show. Yes. 12 hrs on a bus (6am-6pm) that end at the theater and
give you enough time to put on your mic before we start working. But…
The
Day of which we do not speak, capital “D” was what was planned as a 5hr drive
for a night off in Vegas and turned into a 18 hr trip with a whopping 6hrs
total in Sin City. Picture a cast broke down on the side of the road, eating
Domino’s delivery, snowy Utah outside, and impromptu toy instrument jam
sessions and lots of cabin fever. Now two busses later at 3am they begin their
night at the Hooters Hotel. But don’t get too settled, back on the bus at 9am.
I’ve said it before and I will surely say it again “I am living the dream, and
the dream is so janky.”
Onward and Upward! What came next? Months without
Crackerbarrel or Pilot in the cutest little apartment in New York City.
Incredible. Also, plus-size negligee for the win.
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